Meow meow

I woke up in the morning and realise there was a flea infestation.It was around the area where I make sweet lemonade and sour yogurt. Which is my water pistol, the chicken, the pole... Anyway my watch then said,"Cat." I was like," What the f..." Then slowly there are more hair growing one hands, I started to feel that I am getting shorter. I rushed towards the nearest mirror and realised that my ears are pointy and I have an awesome wisker. Soon I knew I was a cat. I could not speak, so I could only meow.

My father came home,looked at me and started pointing at me and laughed hysterically. I couldn't care less, and I was able to get out of my house as my father forgot close the door. On the streets I feel so small... Like I am a pussy in the world of dickheads. Just then a cute girl noticed me, she then pick me up and said,"Aww, such a cute cat. Let's go back home and have a bath. Hee hee." And in my mind was,"FUCKING YES! YES! LET'S DO IT SLUT! I WANT TITS!"

So we went to the cute girl's place. I was in the bathtub waiting for her. She then came in... And then,"BOOOOOOOOM!" That was the sound of my mind exploding. There was a penis hanging between her legs, I mean his. WHAT THE FUCK?! Some sort of failed transexual which only did the upper part of the body or some transgender who has big boobs. And then that person began rubbing me between that person legs... And then I turned back to normal... So I went back home naked, with a broken anus which was bleeding

Note:Try dividing a number by zero... and your mind just exploded

Watching too much TV?

It was late at night, I was watching a Star Wars movie that was showing on the TV. Then suddenly, there was a force pulling me to the TV. Then my watch said,"You are going to get raped." It got stronger and stronger and then,"BOOM!" I realised I was inside the world of Star Wars, and I was a freaking jedi! Apparently there was a war and I have to kill robots.It was fun at first, just swing that lightsabre around like a retarded baboon. But soon I have an idea.

I decided to kill jedi, it was so fun! The jedi made a face, and it was like,"WTF?!" But it was tough to fight the jedi and the robots, which are called droid alone. So I took another lightsabre from the jedi I killed and took another one from another jedi I killed and put in my mouth. So now my mouth looks like I am firing a lazer constantly but up to a certain length. And then, a black out. Everything was black... I could not see anything.

I realised I was in a porn video, with me being a supposedly be a hot japanese female. That was fucked up. I had breasts and a vagina. And I was being raped by two guys. I was sucking a guy's dick and the other guy was doing the doggy style. I felt weird, wet and gay... And at the same time I felt good,high and pleasured... And then,"BOOM!" I was back to the real world... But then I realised something... I just came.

Note:I love pineapple tarts

Random Post 2

So... My brain got fucked up so I can't think of anything to continue the story... So let's read some racist jokes! This time, it is about blacks. Before I continue, I would like to say that I respect them and did not mean to offend them in anyway... Please don't kill my family.

Joke 1: What do you say when you see your TV floating away in the middle of the night?
"Put that down! Nigger!"

Joke 2:What is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit?
The bucket

Joke 3:I had a black as my friend...until my mom sold him.


Joke 4: One day, three students was playing at a playground behind the kindergarden. After
playing, the teacher asked one of the student,Minney, which was a white girl.

Teacher:"What did you play today?"
Minney:"The slide."
T:"Can you spell slide?"
M:"S-L-I-D-E."

And the teacher gave her a chocolate bar, next she asked Roy, a white boy.

Teacher:"What did you play today?"
Roy:"The swing."
T:"Can you spell slide?"
R:"S-W-I-N-G."

And the teacher gave him a chocolate bar, next she asked a black boy.

Teacher:"What did you play today?"
Black Boy:"I didn't play... Because Minney and Roy threw rocks at me..."
T:"That's blatant racial discrimination! Can you spell blatant racial
discrimination?"

Joke 5: One day,an asian when to a bar and ordered a drink.

Asian Guy:"Okay nigger, one beer please."
Black Bartender:"That's racist! how about switching places with me?"
BB:"Okay yellow piss, one beer please."
AG:"Sorry,I don't serve niggers"

So I just wanna say this, I am not really a racist guy. Because racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

Masturbation

The moment I woke up, I saw a cockroach humping on one of my ball while trying to suck it... It felt great until my mother came inside my room and squash it... I guess having one of my three balls smashed, it was okay. Then the talking fish suddenly appeared with a poof sound. And a weird conversation began

Fish:"Hey dude! Do you know that today is a special day?"

Me :"It's the World Masturbation Day!"

F :"No, jackass! it's my birthday..."

M :"Then let's masturbate in celebration of your birthday!"

F :"I have never done such a thing..."

M :"Let me teach you then..masturabtion, the art of typing with one hand. Can you type the
keyboard with one hand...or in your case fins..or flippers..?

F :"Yes I can...LOL!"

M :"Okay let's begin!"

Tutorial on MASTURBATION! (for guys)

Step 1:Find some lotion, preferably vaseline

Step 2:Find a got porn video...like "Girls get rape" - Not good
"Hentai fanstasy" - Moderate
"2 girls 1 cup" - Awesome
"Girls get rape 2" - MUST WATCH!

Step 3:Watch the video for the first time to get your penis erected

Step 4:Stroke your penis up and down

Final step:Gain momentum, gain more speed when stroking and squirt

Warning: The white liquid is not yogurt

Note:When people ask me,"How do you do?" I replied,"Do your mum!"

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2010

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2010




Note:It was me who create all those animations and charactors,and most of the audio... I MA FIRING MY LAZOR!

Santa?

I was sleeping with a G-string and then I realised that the G-string I am wearing was my Dad's. So I went to the bathroom and changed into diapers as I would shit my pants often. Then as I was changing,my watch then said,"Merry Christmas." I feel touched that even a watch said that,so I poke it with my penis then go back to sleep. Then as soon I place my head on my brother thighs to get some sleep, I suddenly heard a loud crash... Right there,shit my pants.

Then I got out of my room to see what happen.There was a man in the living room. A big,fat,old,wearing a red costume,with a red hat that is with a small white cotton ball and his ass was showing. I could not believe it, it was santa! Then before I could shout," Your ass is sexy." he turned around... He... He was a black guy. BOOM! Mindrape. A black santa... so the watch was actually warning me about this black shit.

He looked at me and said,"Sup bitch! Merry shitty christmas to you. Here, take this." He then hand me a present. After that he took a gun and shot himself. Luckily I am a cannibal so there are no traces of santa...Wait,if I ate santa,that mean I ruin Christmas...? Well anyway, I opened that box.There was nothing except for a piece of paper,it says," By the way bitch, I got AIDS."
BOOM! Mindfuck.

Note: Merry Christmas! Now go suck a guy's dick

Random Post 1

Okay... So I ran out of ideas to continue the story. So let's read some racist jokes! Now,the jokes are related World War II, in a country named Singapore.

There was 3 men, a Chinese man, an Eurasian man, and an Malay man. Now these three men where chased by some Japanese soldier. Then at some point,they reach the forest. The Chinese man and Malay man knew that the forest is magical. As when a person touch a tree and say an object,the person will become that object.

So the Chinese man touch the tree and said,"Let me become a deer, so that I can run away." The Chinese man became a deer.

Next the Malay man touch the tree and said."Let me become a bird, so that I can fly away." The Malay man became a bird.

The Eurasian man was fascinated and thought what animal he want to be. But before that he was shot by the a Japanese soldier. So the Eurasian accidentally touched the tree and said,"SHIT!" And he became what he said

Okay let's read another one.

Three men, one was a Buddhist, one was a Christian, and one was a an Indian. They were very religious. One day they were chased by Japanese soldiers. They then decided to hide to their own respective places of worship.

The Buddhist went to the temple, push away the Buddha statue, positioned himself and acted like the Buddha. The Japanese soldier did not caught him.

The Christian went to the church, push away the Jesus statue that was on the cross, positioned himself and acted like Jesus. The Japanese soldier did not caught him.

The Indian went to the temple, push away the Elephant god statue, took off his pants and did a hand stand. He was caught.

It came back?!

So it has been days...actually more than a week.Everything was normal...very normal,like shitting once every hour normal...So I thought that everything was back to normal.Until today...It started like this.I was waking up,feeling so sick as I just have sex with an chimpanzee.So I went to the toilet and start taking a shit. Then as I got up,I looked at the bowl, then suddenly there are bubbles coming up,lots of bubbles.That was when I knew that shit going to happen.

But on the second thought, it could be that my shit is trying to breathe under-water.So I flush it down with my high-pressured pee and when back to my room.That was when I don't know shit going to happen.So back to my room,I heard a voice calling me...a familiar voice.At first I freaked out, then I looked at my watch.It says,"The return of..." Then I was like,"WTF?!" Then when I looked behind,it was the ghost of the talking fish.OMG

He then said,"I have come a long way to reach you.You are the one who killed me...Actually, you ate me.You ate a very intelligent species.And now because of that,you shall share the same fate as me! WAHAHAHAH noob!" I realised that I was going to die.There are so many things I have not do,like trying to suck my own cock,cut my balls off, and turn into a jet plane. Just then,something hit me and I said,"If you so smart,why did you get eaten?"That's when the ghost bow down and worshiped me as a god and then I screwed his brain off. Best fish ever screwed.

Note:When something tells you no, you shout back and say,"That's what your mum said last night!"

The truth

This few days...a lot of things have happened.But everything seems weird...At first I thought it was my imagination or I was too high on drugs...Talking shit and talking fish?! Was all this normal? Or am I normal?I have not been sleeping much thinking about this...But one thing I must say...That talking fish is the best food I have ever eaten! So awesome dude! Hahah,but still taste like chicken...

Okay,so I discussed this matter with my family...Yes their first reaction was,"You on drugs?!" But as soon I talked about the talking fish, my parents face changed.My mother then said,"Son... all this is happening... is because...you are going through puberty son." Now I know that my mother is mentally challenged. If you don't know what does that mean,you are mentally challenged.

But then my father said,"All this...is number of tests you must go through.Because you are my son, you share a special blood.Thus you must go through all this shit."Now I know my parents are seriously fucked up...I mean talking to a fish is a test?!He then give me a watch that doesn't tells time,instead it gives hint on what is going to happen next test. Then I said that I ate that talking fish...and that was a first time I saw an adult emo-ing...

Note:Darkness is actually light...but darker

Talking fish?

So like any other day, I woke up without any pants on.Then I remembered that I was suppose to feed the fish. So I grabbed a pants, and made my may towards my balcony,where the fish is.I was about to take the fish food when something happened...

Fish:Hey you with the dickface!

Me:WTF?! Who is that?

F:Behind you dickface!

M:Shit! I guess this is the after effect on drugs.

F:Stupid idiot! Look at the fish!

M:You are talking?! A talking fish?!

F:Okay dude,yes I am talking, listen have something...

M:Awesome! I am talking to a fish! Woo Hoo!

F:Will you shut up! Dude you need to release me from this prison.

M:Why would I do that?

F:If you do that,I will grant you any wish.

M:Any wish?

F:Any wish.

M:Well...I always wanted to eat a talking fish.

And I ate him for lunch

Note:Yes,there may be racist jokes here and there...happy now?!