So what happens next? What happened to that guy? Where is that watch? SO many question left unanswered... You want to know? Well too bad, you have to wait a little more. So instead of continuing the story, let's get random!
Seriously.. I have no idea to do this... I really do not know what to type here... Let me see... Umm... A joke? Maybe a joke would entertain you bastards! Actually, there is no one seeing this post... BUT! For those who are reading this, I shall tell you a story.
One night, I was walking past an alley and I saw this pretty lady who seems to be startled. So I went and take the advantage and started raping her. The more she crys, the harder I go. And then all was so good! At last I have to leave her there... And that is how I met your mother.
Note:I am a heavy sleeper, super heavy.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Loneliness
Loneliness... It is something we all experienced. The feeling is sometimes unbearable. It is also sometimes a curse, like a flower in the darkest cave. No one will ever find or can ever see the flower. Because they don't think there is a flower, even there is, they would think that it is something common. Yet the flower has the most beautiful glow in the world. But the flower is left alone, undiscovered and then die without no one ever knowing.
It is like a curse, even though you have the greatest strength, you are the smartest person, without anyone, you will be regarded as nothing. That's why to break this curse, you must have friends, relatives, someone who noticed and recognised you. From there the person could share to everyone else what a great person you are. The more people who acknowledge you, the more the cold loneliness will start to melt.
Out from the loneliness comes fame and popularity. Fame is like fire, and people are like the people who bring forth fuel for the fire.If you are useless, you will give trash for the fuel, but the fire will still keep on burning. If you have talent, you will give oil for the fuel and the fire will still keep on burning. Fame is something so powerful, anyone who has that could be powerful. But careful, like as mentioned, fame is like fire, it could burn you alive.
Note:Maggie mee rocks!
It is like a curse, even though you have the greatest strength, you are the smartest person, without anyone, you will be regarded as nothing. That's why to break this curse, you must have friends, relatives, someone who noticed and recognised you. From there the person could share to everyone else what a great person you are. The more people who acknowledge you, the more the cold loneliness will start to melt.
Out from the loneliness comes fame and popularity. Fame is like fire, and people are like the people who bring forth fuel for the fire.If you are useless, you will give trash for the fuel, but the fire will still keep on burning. If you have talent, you will give oil for the fuel and the fire will still keep on burning. Fame is something so powerful, anyone who has that could be powerful. But careful, like as mentioned, fame is like fire, it could burn you alive.
Note:Maggie mee rocks!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Elevator
Nowadays, I like to take the elevator instead of stairs... But not anymore... It was that day, I took the elevator alone, when suddenly the elevator started to jerk. I panicked a little bit, but after a while it stop jerking. And when I step outside... It was something unbelievable... There were giants all around... And they were the size of godzillas... The weird thing is that the watch did not warn me to this shit...
And then a giant noticed me, and shouted,"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" And then I realised I had fainted inside of the elevator because of drug overdosed. And the guy who said,"you shall nto pass was gandalf. Yup, the elevator did transport me to somewhere... Furthermore, my watch seem to be lost.
Note:To be continued... AWW YEAH! Wanted to use that in a while.
And then a giant noticed me, and shouted,"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" And then I realised I had fainted inside of the elevator because of drug overdosed. And the guy who said,"you shall nto pass was gandalf. Yup, the elevator did transport me to somewhere... Furthermore, my watch seem to be lost.
Note:To be continued... AWW YEAH! Wanted to use that in a while.
Monday, April 12, 2010
War
There was war... it was inevitable... Everywhere was bodies, blood and gore... It was a dark time... A time... For...
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!
WHERE HE AT?
WHERE HE AT?
WHERE HE AT?
NOW THERE HE GO
THERE HE GO
THERE HE GO
THERE HE GO
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY!
Note: I got in my ass! Seriously irritating!
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!
WHERE HE AT?
WHERE HE AT?
WHERE HE AT?
NOW THERE HE GO
THERE HE GO
THERE HE GO
THERE HE GO
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY!
Note: I got in my ass! Seriously irritating!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Q and A
Okay, today let's ask the talking fish some questions.
1.What is your favourite food?
- I am dead, I can't eat...
2.Where do you come from, or more specifically what planet do you come from?
- That's classified.
3.If you would be a human, would you be a female or male?
- I would be a female... Lesbian.
4.If today is your last day of earth, what would you do?
- I am dead... but I would trim my pubic hair.
5.If you are not dead and alive, what is your favourite food?
- Fish food.
6.If you would to have a vagina instead of a penis, what would you do?
- That's easy, I would shove your head into my vagina. So that you would suffocate and die.
7.Do you believe in gods?
- Yes, I believe that there is a god of stupidity, so that I would feel that I am way wiser that a god and makes me feel that I am superior than a god.
8.If your mother, and your girlfriend would to fall into a deep pool of water, who would you save first
- They are fucking fishes, dickhead.
9.(The author removed this question)
10.Why did the chicken cross the road?
- To get to the other side, to rape your mother and your alcoholic dad.
11.Who would you kill first, a god, a king or yourself?
- I will kill you first, in your sleep. Then I shall rape you and cut off your all your limbs. And then finally keep a strand of your pubic hair.
12.What is your favourite sex position?
- I'm a virgin...
13.Why the fuck did you remove question 9?!
- Because you are adopted.
14.If you were to eat a human, where would you start
- I would start with the tongue so that I could start kissing and sucking it. And then I would lick the eyeballs and the nostrils. And then I bite off the ears and savour it. So yeah... I would start with the head.
15.If you would to die now, what would you regret.
- I AM ALREADY FUCKING DEAD! But there is one thing I regret... Something I was unable to find.
Note:Love
1.What is your favourite food?
- I am dead, I can't eat...
2.Where do you come from, or more specifically what planet do you come from?
- That's classified.
3.If you would be a human, would you be a female or male?
- I would be a female... Lesbian.
4.If today is your last day of earth, what would you do?
- I am dead... but I would trim my pubic hair.
5.If you are not dead and alive, what is your favourite food?
- Fish food.
6.If you would to have a vagina instead of a penis, what would you do?
- That's easy, I would shove your head into my vagina. So that you would suffocate and die.
7.Do you believe in gods?
- Yes, I believe that there is a god of stupidity, so that I would feel that I am way wiser that a god and makes me feel that I am superior than a god.
8.If your mother, and your girlfriend would to fall into a deep pool of water, who would you save first
- They are fucking fishes, dickhead.
9.(The author removed this question)
10.Why did the chicken cross the road?
- To get to the other side, to rape your mother and your alcoholic dad.
11.Who would you kill first, a god, a king or yourself?
- I will kill you first, in your sleep. Then I shall rape you and cut off your all your limbs. And then finally keep a strand of your pubic hair.
12.What is your favourite sex position?
- I'm a virgin...
13.Why the fuck did you remove question 9?!
- Because you are adopted.
14.If you were to eat a human, where would you start
- I would start with the tongue so that I could start kissing and sucking it. And then I would lick the eyeballs and the nostrils. And then I bite off the ears and savour it. So yeah... I would start with the head.
15.If you would to die now, what would you regret.
- I AM ALREADY FUCKING DEAD! But there is one thing I regret... Something I was unable to find.
Note:Love
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
HOOOOOLLLYYY SHHHIIIITTT!!!!
SHIT! HOLY SHIT! TAKE COVER! RPGS ON THE ROOFTOP! WE NEED TO GET THE LZ QUICKLY! WHAT THE FUCK?! TANKS?! SHIIIIIT! RUN! RUN! FUCK! HQ! THIS SQUARDRON 23-1. WE NEED ASSISTANCE OR SOME AIR STRIKE NOW! WE NOW TAKING HEAVY FIRE! DO YOU COPY?! DO YOU COPY?! SHIT! RADIO'S OUT!? WHAT THE FUCK?! RUN FOR COVER! HELICOPTERS ARE FALLING SKY! SHIT! FUCKING EMP! FUCK THIS! LET'S JUST CHARGE! AHHHHHHH!
Note: Boredom leads to craziness
Note: Boredom leads to craziness
Monday, March 29, 2010
Depressed
I found myself in a daze... I been thinking a lot lately... I have a lot of problems, problems that I couldn't think of a suitable solution to tackle with. I thought that maybe I can run away... But there is nowhere for me to run. I thought that maybe I can fight head on with the problem, but I guess I am too weak and a coward myself. I realised that I was useless, and hopeless. Never in my life I have felt this... Is this growing up? Is this just another obstacle that I must overcome?
The more I think, the more I get depressed. I wish time will stop, as there isn't much time left. The problem will grow to be harder if I continue doing nothing. But my laziness and the lack of courage is stopping me from doing anything... What should I do... What should I do with a FREAKING TWO METRES SPIDER THAT IS CRAWLING ON MY WALL THAT IS TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME! Then eat me alive...
Note:I ran out of Vaseline...
The more I think, the more I get depressed. I wish time will stop, as there isn't much time left. The problem will grow to be harder if I continue doing nothing. But my laziness and the lack of courage is stopping me from doing anything... What should I do... What should I do with a FREAKING TWO METRES SPIDER THAT IS CRAWLING ON MY WALL THAT IS TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME! Then eat me alive...
Note:I ran out of Vaseline...
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Dream
I had a dream, a weird one. But then again, supposedly all dreams are weird... Anyway, in that dream, I found myself in a room. The room was full of my old toys, my gadgets, photos and many stuff which I did not recognise.Then a man appear in front of me, who looks exactly like me.
He said," These are your memories, all of your memories. Some are sad, some are happy. Your dreams and ambitions are here too. But some of them are lost and hidden...A scattered dream is like a far-off memory, a far-off memory is like a scattered dream. Would you want to search for the rest of your dreams and memories and line them up?"
After saying that, that man suddenly stabbed me in the chest with a chicken drumstick and whispered to my ear," It's finger lick'in good." That's when I realised that I shouldn't eat KFC before I sleep.
Note:I am underweight...
He said," These are your memories, all of your memories. Some are sad, some are happy. Your dreams and ambitions are here too. But some of them are lost and hidden...A scattered dream is like a far-off memory, a far-off memory is like a scattered dream. Would you want to search for the rest of your dreams and memories and line them up?"
After saying that, that man suddenly stabbed me in the chest with a chicken drumstick and whispered to my ear," It's finger lick'in good." That's when I realised that I shouldn't eat KFC before I sleep.
Note:I am underweight...
Monday, March 22, 2010
Toilet madness
So I was urinating and I realised that the water in the toilet bowl starting to boil. I then realised that my urine at that time was boiling, even though I don't feel my penis melting. Being a curious one, I started placing my index finger into the stream of hot steaming pee. But strangely enough, my finger was not burned. And strangely enough, it was cold.
Then I realised, the water in the toilet bowl wasn't boiling, it was bubble, and the bubbles became bigger and bigger and then a head comes out and said," You are on gag TV!" And the head slowly went back down.
Note:Wow, it is been a long time since I posted anything and this post seem to be a lot shorter. And it will be this short for the future post I'm going to post. Thus, laziness owns all
Then I realised, the water in the toilet bowl wasn't boiling, it was bubble, and the bubbles became bigger and bigger and then a head comes out and said," You are on gag TV!" And the head slowly went back down.
Note:Wow, it is been a long time since I posted anything and this post seem to be a lot shorter. And it will be this short for the future post I'm going to post. Thus, laziness owns all
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Meow meow
I woke up in the morning and realise there was a flea infestation.It was around the area where I make sweet lemonade and sour yogurt. Which is my water pistol, the chicken, the pole... Anyway my watch then said,"Cat." I was like," What the f..." Then slowly there are more hair growing one hands, I started to feel that I am getting shorter. I rushed towards the nearest mirror and realised that my ears are pointy and I have an awesome wisker. Soon I knew I was a cat. I could not speak, so I could only meow.
My father came home,looked at me and started pointing at me and laughed hysterically. I couldn't care less, and I was able to get out of my house as my father forgot close the door. On the streets I feel so small... Like I am a pussy in the world of dickheads. Just then a cute girl noticed me, she then pick me up and said,"Aww, such a cute cat. Let's go back home and have a bath. Hee hee." And in my mind was,"FUCKING YES! YES! LET'S DO IT SLUT! I WANT TITS!"
So we went to the cute girl's place. I was in the bathtub waiting for her. She then came in... And then,"BOOOOOOOOM!" That was the sound of my mind exploding. There was a penis hanging between her legs, I mean his. WHAT THE FUCK?! Some sort of failed transexual which only did the upper part of the body or some transgender who has big boobs. And then that person began rubbing me between that person legs... And then I turned back to normal... So I went back home naked, with a broken anus which was bleeding
Note:Try dividing a number by zero... and your mind just exploded
My father came home,looked at me and started pointing at me and laughed hysterically. I couldn't care less, and I was able to get out of my house as my father forgot close the door. On the streets I feel so small... Like I am a pussy in the world of dickheads. Just then a cute girl noticed me, she then pick me up and said,"Aww, such a cute cat. Let's go back home and have a bath. Hee hee." And in my mind was,"FUCKING YES! YES! LET'S DO IT SLUT! I WANT TITS!"
So we went to the cute girl's place. I was in the bathtub waiting for her. She then came in... And then,"BOOOOOOOOM!" That was the sound of my mind exploding. There was a penis hanging between her legs, I mean his. WHAT THE FUCK?! Some sort of failed transexual which only did the upper part of the body or some transgender who has big boobs. And then that person began rubbing me between that person legs... And then I turned back to normal... So I went back home naked, with a broken anus which was bleeding
Note:Try dividing a number by zero... and your mind just exploded
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Watching too much TV?
It was late at night, I was watching a Star Wars movie that was showing on the TV. Then suddenly, there was a force pulling me to the TV. Then my watch said,"You are going to get raped." It got stronger and stronger and then,"BOOM!" I realised I was inside the world of Star Wars, and I was a freaking jedi! Apparently there was a war and I have to kill robots.It was fun at first, just swing that lightsabre around like a retarded baboon. But soon I have an idea.
I decided to kill jedi, it was so fun! The jedi made a face, and it was like,"WTF?!" But it was tough to fight the jedi and the robots, which are called droid alone. So I took another lightsabre from the jedi I killed and took another one from another jedi I killed and put in my mouth. So now my mouth looks like I am firing a lazer constantly but up to a certain length. And then, a black out. Everything was black... I could not see anything.
I realised I was in a porn video, with me being a supposedly be a hot japanese female. That was fucked up. I had breasts and a vagina. And I was being raped by two guys. I was sucking a guy's dick and the other guy was doing the doggy style. I felt weird, wet and gay... And at the same time I felt good,high and pleasured... And then,"BOOM!" I was back to the real world... But then I realised something... I just came.
Note:I love pineapple tarts
I decided to kill jedi, it was so fun! The jedi made a face, and it was like,"WTF?!" But it was tough to fight the jedi and the robots, which are called droid alone. So I took another lightsabre from the jedi I killed and took another one from another jedi I killed and put in my mouth. So now my mouth looks like I am firing a lazer constantly but up to a certain length. And then, a black out. Everything was black... I could not see anything.
I realised I was in a porn video, with me being a supposedly be a hot japanese female. That was fucked up. I had breasts and a vagina. And I was being raped by two guys. I was sucking a guy's dick and the other guy was doing the doggy style. I felt weird, wet and gay... And at the same time I felt good,high and pleasured... And then,"BOOM!" I was back to the real world... But then I realised something... I just came.
Note:I love pineapple tarts
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Random Post 2
So... My brain got fucked up so I can't think of anything to continue the story... So let's read some racist jokes! This time, it is about blacks. Before I continue, I would like to say that I respect them and did not mean to offend them in anyway... Please don't kill my family.
Joke 1: What do you say when you see your TV floating away in the middle of the night?
"Put that down! Nigger!"
Joke 2:What is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit?
The bucket
Joke 3:I had a black as my friend...until my mom sold him.
Joke 4: One day, three students was playing at a playground behind the kindergarden. After
playing, the teacher asked one of the student,Minney, which was a white girl.
Teacher:"What did you play today?"
Minney:"The slide."
T:"Can you spell slide?"
M:"S-L-I-D-E."
And the teacher gave her a chocolate bar, next she asked Roy, a white boy.
Teacher:"What did you play today?"
Roy:"The swing."
T:"Can you spell slide?"
R:"S-W-I-N-G."
And the teacher gave him a chocolate bar, next she asked a black boy.
Teacher:"What did you play today?"
Black Boy:"I didn't play... Because Minney and Roy threw rocks at me..."
T:"That's blatant racial discrimination! Can you spell blatant racial
discrimination?"
Joke 5: One day,an asian when to a bar and ordered a drink.
Asian Guy:"Okay nigger, one beer please."
Black Bartender:"That's racist! how about switching places with me?"
BB:"Okay yellow piss, one beer please."
AG:"Sorry,I don't serve niggers"
So I just wanna say this, I am not really a racist guy. Because racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
Joke 1: What do you say when you see your TV floating away in the middle of the night?
"Put that down! Nigger!"
Joke 2:What is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit?
The bucket
Joke 3:I had a black as my friend...until my mom sold him.
Joke 4: One day, three students was playing at a playground behind the kindergarden. After
playing, the teacher asked one of the student,Minney, which was a white girl.
Teacher:"What did you play today?"
Minney:"The slide."
T:"Can you spell slide?"
M:"S-L-I-D-E."
And the teacher gave her a chocolate bar, next she asked Roy, a white boy.
Teacher:"What did you play today?"
Roy:"The swing."
T:"Can you spell slide?"
R:"S-W-I-N-G."
And the teacher gave him a chocolate bar, next she asked a black boy.
Teacher:"What did you play today?"
Black Boy:"I didn't play... Because Minney and Roy threw rocks at me..."
T:"That's blatant racial discrimination! Can you spell blatant racial
discrimination?"
Joke 5: One day,an asian when to a bar and ordered a drink.
Asian Guy:"Okay nigger, one beer please."
Black Bartender:"That's racist! how about switching places with me?"
BB:"Okay yellow piss, one beer please."
AG:"Sorry,I don't serve niggers"
So I just wanna say this, I am not really a racist guy. Because racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Masturbation
The moment I woke up, I saw a cockroach humping on one of my ball while trying to suck it... It felt great until my mother came inside my room and squash it... I guess having one of my three balls smashed, it was okay. Then the talking fish suddenly appeared with a poof sound. And a weird conversation began
Fish:"Hey dude! Do you know that today is a special day?"
Me :"It's the World Masturbation Day!"
F :"No, jackass! it's my birthday..."
M :"Then let's masturbate in celebration of your birthday!"
F :"I have never done such a thing..."
M :"Let me teach you then..masturabtion, the art of typing with one hand. Can you type the
keyboard with one hand...or in your case fins..or flippers..?
F :"Yes I can...LOL!"
M :"Okay let's begin!"
Tutorial on MASTURBATION! (for guys)
Step 1:Find some lotion, preferably vaseline
Step 2:Find a got porn video...like "Girls get rape" - Not good
"Hentai fanstasy" - Moderate
"2 girls 1 cup" - Awesome
"Girls get rape 2" - MUST WATCH!
Step 3:Watch the video for the first time to get your penis erected
Step 4:Stroke your penis up and down
Final step:Gain momentum, gain more speed when stroking and squirt
Warning: The white liquid is not yogurt
Note:When people ask me,"How do you do?" I replied,"Do your mum!"
Fish:"Hey dude! Do you know that today is a special day?"
Me :"It's the World Masturbation Day!"
F :"No, jackass! it's my birthday..."
M :"Then let's masturbate in celebration of your birthday!"
F :"I have never done such a thing..."
M :"Let me teach you then..masturabtion, the art of typing with one hand. Can you type the
keyboard with one hand...or in your case fins..or flippers..?
F :"Yes I can...LOL!"
M :"Okay let's begin!"
Tutorial on MASTURBATION! (for guys)
Step 1:Find some lotion, preferably vaseline
Step 2:Find a got porn video...like "Girls get rape" - Not good
"Hentai fanstasy" - Moderate
"2 girls 1 cup" - Awesome
"Girls get rape 2" - MUST WATCH!
Step 3:Watch the video for the first time to get your penis erected
Step 4:Stroke your penis up and down
Final step:Gain momentum, gain more speed when stroking and squirt
Warning: The white liquid is not yogurt
Note:When people ask me,"How do you do?" I replied,"Do your mum!"
Friday, January 1, 2010
HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2010
HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2010
Note:It was me who create all those animations and charactors,and most of the audio... I MA FIRING MY LAZOR!
Note:It was me who create all those animations and charactors,and most of the audio... I MA FIRING MY LAZOR!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Santa?
I was sleeping with a G-string and then I realised that the G-string I am wearing was my Dad's. So I went to the bathroom and changed into diapers as I would shit my pants often. Then as I was changing,my watch then said,"Merry Christmas." I feel touched that even a watch said that,so I poke it with my penis then go back to sleep. Then as soon I place my head on my brother thighs to get some sleep, I suddenly heard a loud crash... Right there,shit my pants.
Then I got out of my room to see what happen.There was a man in the living room. A big,fat,old,wearing a red costume,with a red hat that is with a small white cotton ball and his ass was showing. I could not believe it, it was santa! Then before I could shout," Your ass is sexy." he turned around... He... He was a black guy. BOOM! Mindrape. A black santa... so the watch was actually warning me about this black shit.
He looked at me and said,"Sup bitch! Merry shitty christmas to you. Here, take this." He then hand me a present. After that he took a gun and shot himself. Luckily I am a cannibal so there are no traces of santa...Wait,if I ate santa,that mean I ruin Christmas...? Well anyway, I opened that box.There was nothing except for a piece of paper,it says," By the way bitch, I got AIDS."
BOOM! Mindfuck.
Note: Merry Christmas! Now go suck a guy's dick
Then I got out of my room to see what happen.There was a man in the living room. A big,fat,old,wearing a red costume,with a red hat that is with a small white cotton ball and his ass was showing. I could not believe it, it was santa! Then before I could shout," Your ass is sexy." he turned around... He... He was a black guy. BOOM! Mindrape. A black santa... so the watch was actually warning me about this black shit.
He looked at me and said,"Sup bitch! Merry shitty christmas to you. Here, take this." He then hand me a present. After that he took a gun and shot himself. Luckily I am a cannibal so there are no traces of santa...Wait,if I ate santa,that mean I ruin Christmas...? Well anyway, I opened that box.There was nothing except for a piece of paper,it says," By the way bitch, I got AIDS."
BOOM! Mindfuck.
Note: Merry Christmas! Now go suck a guy's dick
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Random Post 1
Okay... So I ran out of ideas to continue the story. So let's read some racist jokes! Now,the jokes are related World War II, in a country named Singapore.
There was 3 men, a Chinese man, an Eurasian man, and an Malay man. Now these three men where chased by some Japanese soldier. Then at some point,they reach the forest. The Chinese man and Malay man knew that the forest is magical. As when a person touch a tree and say an object,the person will become that object.
So the Chinese man touch the tree and said,"Let me become a deer, so that I can run away." The Chinese man became a deer.
Next the Malay man touch the tree and said."Let me become a bird, so that I can fly away." The Malay man became a bird.
The Eurasian man was fascinated and thought what animal he want to be. But before that he was shot by the a Japanese soldier. So the Eurasian accidentally touched the tree and said,"SHIT!" And he became what he said
Okay let's read another one.
Three men, one was a Buddhist, one was a Christian, and one was a an Indian. They were very religious. One day they were chased by Japanese soldiers. They then decided to hide to their own respective places of worship.
The Buddhist went to the temple, push away the Buddha statue, positioned himself and acted like the Buddha. The Japanese soldier did not caught him.
The Christian went to the church, push away the Jesus statue that was on the cross, positioned himself and acted like Jesus. The Japanese soldier did not caught him.
The Indian went to the temple, push away the Elephant god statue, took off his pants and did a hand stand. He was caught.
There was 3 men, a Chinese man, an Eurasian man, and an Malay man. Now these three men where chased by some Japanese soldier. Then at some point,they reach the forest. The Chinese man and Malay man knew that the forest is magical. As when a person touch a tree and say an object,the person will become that object.
So the Chinese man touch the tree and said,"Let me become a deer, so that I can run away." The Chinese man became a deer.
Next the Malay man touch the tree and said."Let me become a bird, so that I can fly away." The Malay man became a bird.
The Eurasian man was fascinated and thought what animal he want to be. But before that he was shot by the a Japanese soldier. So the Eurasian accidentally touched the tree and said,"SHIT!" And he became what he said
Okay let's read another one.
Three men, one was a Buddhist, one was a Christian, and one was a an Indian. They were very religious. One day they were chased by Japanese soldiers. They then decided to hide to their own respective places of worship.
The Buddhist went to the temple, push away the Buddha statue, positioned himself and acted like the Buddha. The Japanese soldier did not caught him.
The Christian went to the church, push away the Jesus statue that was on the cross, positioned himself and acted like Jesus. The Japanese soldier did not caught him.
The Indian went to the temple, push away the Elephant god statue, took off his pants and did a hand stand. He was caught.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
It came back?!
So it has been days...actually more than a week.Everything was normal...very normal,like shitting once every hour normal...So I thought that everything was back to normal.Until today...It started like this.I was waking up,feeling so sick as I just have sex with an chimpanzee.So I went to the toilet and start taking a shit. Then as I got up,I looked at the bowl, then suddenly there are bubbles coming up,lots of bubbles.That was when I knew that shit going to happen.
But on the second thought, it could be that my shit is trying to breathe under-water.So I flush it down with my high-pressured pee and when back to my room.That was when I don't know shit going to happen.So back to my room,I heard a voice calling me...a familiar voice.At first I freaked out, then I looked at my watch.It says,"The return of..." Then I was like,"WTF?!" Then when I looked behind,it was the ghost of the talking fish.OMG
He then said,"I have come a long way to reach you.You are the one who killed me...Actually, you ate me.You ate a very intelligent species.And now because of that,you shall share the same fate as me! WAHAHAHAH noob!" I realised that I was going to die.There are so many things I have not do,like trying to suck my own cock,cut my balls off, and turn into a jet plane. Just then,something hit me and I said,"If you so smart,why did you get eaten?"That's when the ghost bow down and worshiped me as a god and then I screwed his brain off. Best fish ever screwed.
Note:When something tells you no, you shout back and say,"That's what your mum said last night!"
But on the second thought, it could be that my shit is trying to breathe under-water.So I flush it down with my high-pressured pee and when back to my room.That was when I don't know shit going to happen.So back to my room,I heard a voice calling me...a familiar voice.At first I freaked out, then I looked at my watch.It says,"The return of..." Then I was like,"WTF?!" Then when I looked behind,it was the ghost of the talking fish.OMG
He then said,"I have come a long way to reach you.You are the one who killed me...Actually, you ate me.You ate a very intelligent species.And now because of that,you shall share the same fate as me! WAHAHAHAH noob!" I realised that I was going to die.There are so many things I have not do,like trying to suck my own cock,cut my balls off, and turn into a jet plane. Just then,something hit me and I said,"If you so smart,why did you get eaten?"That's when the ghost bow down and worshiped me as a god and then I screwed his brain off. Best fish ever screwed.
Note:When something tells you no, you shout back and say,"That's what your mum said last night!"
Sunday, December 6, 2009
The truth
This few days...a lot of things have happened.But everything seems weird...At first I thought it was my imagination or I was too high on drugs...Talking shit and talking fish?! Was all this normal? Or am I normal?I have not been sleeping much thinking about this...But one thing I must say...That talking fish is the best food I have ever eaten! So awesome dude! Hahah,but still taste like chicken...
Okay,so I discussed this matter with my family...Yes their first reaction was,"You on drugs?!" But as soon I talked about the talking fish, my parents face changed.My mother then said,"Son... all this is happening... is because...you are going through puberty son." Now I know that my mother is mentally challenged. If you don't know what does that mean,you are mentally challenged.
But then my father said,"All this...is number of tests you must go through.Because you are my son, you share a special blood.Thus you must go through all this shit."Now I know my parents are seriously fucked up...I mean talking to a fish is a test?!He then give me a watch that doesn't tells time,instead it gives hint on what is going to happen next test. Then I said that I ate that talking fish...and that was a first time I saw an adult emo-ing...
Note:Darkness is actually light...but darker
Okay,so I discussed this matter with my family...Yes their first reaction was,"You on drugs?!" But as soon I talked about the talking fish, my parents face changed.My mother then said,"Son... all this is happening... is because...you are going through puberty son." Now I know that my mother is mentally challenged. If you don't know what does that mean,you are mentally challenged.
But then my father said,"All this...is number of tests you must go through.Because you are my son, you share a special blood.Thus you must go through all this shit."Now I know my parents are seriously fucked up...I mean talking to a fish is a test?!He then give me a watch that doesn't tells time,instead it gives hint on what is going to happen next test. Then I said that I ate that talking fish...and that was a first time I saw an adult emo-ing...
Note:Darkness is actually light...but darker
Friday, December 4, 2009
Talking fish?
So like any other day, I woke up without any pants on.Then I remembered that I was suppose to feed the fish. So I grabbed a pants, and made my may towards my balcony,where the fish is.I was about to take the fish food when something happened...
Fish:Hey you with the dickface!
Me:WTF?! Who is that?
F:Behind you dickface!
M:Shit! I guess this is the after effect on drugs.
F:Stupid idiot! Look at the fish!
M:You are talking?! A talking fish?!
F:Okay dude,yes I am talking, listen have something...
M:Awesome! I am talking to a fish! Woo Hoo!
F:Will you shut up! Dude you need to release me from this prison.
M:Why would I do that?
F:If you do that,I will grant you any wish.
M:Any wish?
F:Any wish.
M:Well...I always wanted to eat a talking fish.
And I ate him for lunch
Note:Yes,there may be racist jokes here and there...happy now?!
Fish:Hey you with the dickface!
Me:WTF?! Who is that?
F:Behind you dickface!
M:Shit! I guess this is the after effect on drugs.
F:Stupid idiot! Look at the fish!
M:You are talking?! A talking fish?!
F:Okay dude,yes I am talking, listen have something...
M:Awesome! I am talking to a fish! Woo Hoo!
F:Will you shut up! Dude you need to release me from this prison.
M:Why would I do that?
F:If you do that,I will grant you any wish.
M:Any wish?
F:Any wish.
M:Well...I always wanted to eat a talking fish.
And I ate him for lunch
Note:Yes,there may be racist jokes here and there...happy now?!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Playing too much PSP?
Okay,today was weird.I was playing with my PSP half-naked,when suddenly the screen of the PSP glow brightly.The next moment,I realised I was inside the PSP.Well not exactly in the PSP,as in like there is a virtual world.How I would know?Because I realised I was wearing an armor,carrying a heavy weapon and facing off a monster.Yup,I was in the world of Monster Hunter.
For those loser who do not know what is a 'Monster Hunter'.By the looking at the title,it is obvious it is a game where you hunt monsters.So like I said, I was facing off a monster.It was a Kushala Dora,an elder dragon,a very irritating monster if I say so myself.At that time,I shit my pants.I was like,"WTF!HOLY MOTHER!"
Then the dragon came closer and closer, letting me smell his horrible breath,and then shouted,"WAKE UP!"It was then I realised, that I have passed out in the toilet while shitting,and that voice was from the shit that I've just shitted.That's right a talking shit.
Note:This is my third post.Haha, fooled you.But seriously,this is my first post.Haha,fooled you again.Wow, you are so easy to fool...fool
For those loser who do not know what is a 'Monster Hunter'.By the looking at the title,it is obvious it is a game where you hunt monsters.So like I said, I was facing off a monster.It was a Kushala Dora,an elder dragon,a very irritating monster if I say so myself.At that time,I shit my pants.I was like,"WTF!HOLY MOTHER!"
Then the dragon came closer and closer, letting me smell his horrible breath,and then shouted,"WAKE UP!"It was then I realised, that I have passed out in the toilet while shitting,and that voice was from the shit that I've just shitted.That's right a talking shit.
Note:This is my third post.Haha, fooled you.But seriously,this is my first post.Haha,fooled you again.Wow, you are so easy to fool...fool
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